Everyone Hates the Goddess of Love
by beautyfrompain
Summary: A little oneshot featuring Aphrodite, goddess of love, and how she messed up everyone's love lives... more interesting than it might sound. Or not, your opinion really. Somewhat better summary inside, hope you like it!


**_A little one shot featuring Aphrodite, and how she messed with everyone's lives to the point of insanity. And everyone hating her. One day my mind just started wandering and well, I came up with this! It's my first PJO fic. Please review, but try to be nice. Sorry if it sucks, I know that it probably does. (BTW, it's all in Aphrodite's POV)_**

**_Disclaimer: I'm sad. Why? Because I don't own PJO._**

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_Back at Olympus..._

I was sitting at my mirror, making sure that my makeup was perfect (though it **always **was), when Hermes appeared right next to me. He sighed and presented a two huge mail sacs.

"Your mail is here, Aphrodite. You know the drill."

I did. But I tried to get out of it. "Oh, come on, Hermes! You know that we're friends. Can't we just miss one time?"

He shook his head. "Nope, you got yourself into this when you decided to go meddling into mortals' love lives. And you know that I charge for mortals. That will be 596,495 golden dracmas."

I sighed and magically landed two almost equally huge sacs next to him, both filled with dracmas. He took the sacs and left, though I knew that he would be back later. I guess I did get myself into this, but how was I to know that people wanted to die old and alone? You probably know that I've been in the business of love for quite some time. In fact, I invented love!

But lately, I've been getting lots of mail, not a lot of it flattering. To prove my point, I took a letter off the top of one of the mail sacs, and opened the envelope.

_Dear Aphrodite,_

_What is_ up _with you? I do not find it amusing that you like to tinker with my love life. If you do not stop, I will personally find my way up to wherever you live and murder you, and put the world to rest._

_Anonymous_

Mmn, that actually wasn't too bad! Maybe this was a mild batch. Though the poor child really should know that no mere mortal can kill me....This time I went to the other sac, and dug my manicured hand deep inside, and pulled out a purple stationary envelope. Inside was a matching piece of purple paper. I unfolded it and hoped for the best.

_Aphrodite! Even your name sounds like something someone would name a toilet cleaner. I hate you. Why? Because you RUINED MY LIFE! Now I have none. You stupid, selfish, inconsiderate little #%*# _(I censored it for all you innocent little mortals reading this)!_I bet that all you do is sit around being the sissy you are and RUINING THE WORLD BY EXISTING! Here's my advice- disappear off the face of the Earth. Or preferably, a cliff. Oh wait, you can't die! Joy. Well, falling on a bronze knife or something equally lethal would do just as well._

_Juliet Capulet, dead and livid_

I folded the paper back up again and tried my best not to cringe (I wouldn't wouldn't to cause wrinkles, now would I?). I admit, Romeo and Juliet were not my best work. But you have to admit, their story did become quite famous after that man (Shakespeare, was it?) made a play out of it. But I didn't quite mean for it to turn out **that** way. And it's not like that happened with **everyone**. So why to I get so much trash mail? And why does the world hate me so much?!

I called on Athena for help. After all, she is supposed to be sooo wise. Big mistake. She might be the goddess of wisdom, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she always knows what she's talking about. And she isn't very helpful either. I went to her anyway. When she heard of my predicament, she snorted with contempt.

"So let me get this straight. You fiddle with people's lives, not meaning to make them miserable, but you do anyway. And then, because you couldn't leave well enough alone, they now have practically no chance at love. And you then wonder why everyone hates you and wants you dead."

I nodded my head, and it took me a few seconds to work out the sarcasm in that (but I am_ not _slow).  
"Yeah, that pretty much covers-hey!"

Athena continued on. "You see, what you need to do is just stop meddling. I know that it would be the **wise **thing to do..."

I wasn't very happy by now. "But I'm the goddess of love and beauty! What else do I have to do besides help people fall in love? My job with beauty is already pretty much done."

Athena made a face. "You know, you crossed the line from helpful into a horrible hindrance a long time ago. I'm sure that you can find something else to do. But please stop with the meddling. It just isn't wise-"

"How rude!" I interrupted. How dare she! "What do **you** know about love, anyway?! And to Hades with your darned wisdom! How you are known to be wise I'll never know."

And with that said, I stomped away, but not before I heard Athena mutter something like, "What an insolent little (insert an insult here, it's probably best that I don't expose the world to another one, especially not the one she used)." I guess it was just my fault, me coming to **her** for advice. But there was some times in the past when I probably wasn't the best help...

_Aphrodite has a flashback....._

_I remembered seeing Cinderella through my tv one day... she looked like **she **sure needed some love. And how would she find it without a bit of help? She was a bit homely looking.... So I poofed on down there. She was scrubbing the floors when I got to her. She jumped, and grabbed a broom from nearby._

_"Who are you and what do you want with me? Answer quickly or risk feeling my broom!"_

_Oh, she was just sooo scary. She actually looked kind of mentally deranged from up close. But I tried to be nice anyway. _

_"Why, I'm Aphrodite, goddess of love, silly goose! Everyone knows who I am. I'm Aphrodite, the goddess of love, here to help you with your nonexistent antisocial love life!"_

_So with this, I gave her a quick makeover and sent her to the ball in a chariot. I poofed myself back to Olympus, and watched her at the ball, making the prince fall in an infatuating love with her. _

_Another love story, all in a day's work._

I snapped out of my reverie and frowned, forgetting about wrinkles. She had been so rude, threatening to hit me with that broom! And did I ever get a thank you? What was I thinking - I was _always_ the best of help. But no one ever appreciated **my** help. It was as if I had a revolution. Well, at least, I had an idea. Maybe... maybe if I changed up my technique a bit, then people would appreciate me more!

I was a goddess on a mission.

So I created an online dating service (which I plainly called the Aphrodite Service. My slogan was, _'H__aving problems getting the person of your dreams? Get help from the goddess of love!' _I mean, we wouldn't want them to wonder who helped them find their true love. And a little gratitude sure wouldn't hurt...) Sure, if someone needed love help, they couldn't complain that they didn't ask for it. So then I waited a bit. But of course, you humans pounced on it in seconds. Gods, make up your minds! You either want my help or don't, which is it?! And some were the same that I had _tried _to help before. Humans are so wishy - washy. And they_ should have known _who I was... it was plain in the name, after all.

So I waited until people signed up, and them scouted them out and then found someone else who would be perfect for them (And yes, I tried to stay in the cramped boundaries of the service. But for some people there really was only **one **true love, so I had to cheat a bit. And then, of course, I had to make sure they found each other and fell in love with minimal help from me, which was a bit hard. But hey, it was all about self control). I spotted a mousy young lady with big glasses and brown hair with hardly any luster. And then I found a good match for her, a nerdy - looking with the same needs. I found a beauty queen and put her with a smooth guy who would make her happy (Oh, yes, it felt_ good_ to be able to play matchmaker again!). I put a single mom with a sweet guy who would always pay attention to her. I mad thousands of matches in one day.

And, Hades, did it feel good.

And, soon, I even started to get a few appreciative letters in with the old trash letters, from people who were smart enough to know that it was me who had hooked them up. And who knew how to get a letter to me.

Hey, at least everyone doesn't hate the goddess of love anymore.

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**_A/N: So, there it is! I hoped you liked it, I really do. Now, tell me what you thought about it in a review! Please? I'll give you a virtual cookie (or a brownie, if you would prefer)....._**

**_And in case you forgot where it was...._**

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Here it is.


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